On the Prowl (unedited version)
“What Bob Barker said”
by Bernadette Calonego
Newfoundlanders, watch American quiz shows! It might be good for you. I can vouch for it. Why? Because of an amazing story that a Newfoundlander living on the Northern Peninsula told me.
He had been suffering from eczema for his entire adult life. It was painful, it was itching, he suffered. He told me that, according to a news report he had read, a lot of Newfoundlanders have eczema. For many of them, it is a terrible ailment. And they don`t dare to talk about it.
And then, one glorious day, he watched “The Price is Right”. You must know this highly successful, longstanding American quiz show. Everybody watches it from time to time. Except me. I cannot stand adults jumping up and down and screaming like kids on a playground. Hey, you`ve only won 80000 dollars, an expensive car and a luxurious trip to Hawaii. What`s the big deal? I buy a lottery ticket five times a year and never win. But I at least I keep my cool.
Anyway, when the Newfoundlander with the eczema watched that show, as always can-didates had to guess prices of products in the stores. And there it was, a cream against eczema. My Newfoundlander could not believe his ears. He got it immediately and used it. And miracle oh miracle – it worked! It still does.
Curious as I am as a journalist, I had to watch “The Price is Right”. At least once. Could not hurt. I stayed until the bitter end. Wait a minute. The end was not bitter. The end was a revelation! The host of the show, a man called Drew Carey, said his good-byes. And then he added: “Please get your pets spayed and neutered.” Did I hear right?
I called the Newfoundlander instantly. He kept his cool. Sure, he shrugged, Carey says that every time. At the end of every show. You can bet on it.
And his predecessor Bob Barker was even more verbal: “Help control the pet popu-lation – have your pets spayed and neu-tered.” Wow! I love American quiz shows. From now on, I will gladly jump up and down and scream my brains out. The price is right and Drew Carey, too. Spaying and neutering is the only way to prevent the misery of unwanted pets and strays. A male and a female cat and their offspring for instance can produce over 2 million cats in just eight years. On the basis of two litters per year, with 2.8 surviving kittens per litter. You don`t believe it? Some experts say, this estimate is even modest.
If they survive at all, most will lead a pitiful life and suffer a lot. And that happens to many cats in our area, too.
Speaking of which.
I thought, Newfoundlanders don`t have to leave it to the Americans to spread the message of dog and cat overpopulation. There are guys and girls on this island, too, who can reach thousands of viewers. I will have to give actor Allan Hawco a call. I mean, what better place than the “Republic of Doyle” for pet promo.
Imagine, Allan going after a gangster, knocking him down, brushing off his jeans. And then without a blink saying straight into the camera: “And don`t forget to spay and neuter your pets!” I really have to call the guy.
Or our local country singer Sabrina Wyatt could purr her way through one of her latest songs: “That`s What I am Talking About: Have your pets fixed.” Hey, Sabrina, give it a go on your next real-ity show!
By the way, I asked the Newfoundlander what the price for his eczema cream was. He. Did. Not. Know. Maybe next time I`ll ask him the price for a bag of dog food. I might just get lucky.
published in the “Northern Pen”
